Self-Esteem Therapy
You are your own biggest critic.
You have a hard time feeling good inside and believing in yourself no matter how much good you do or how much you achieve. You don’t feel intrinsically worthy of love, acceptance, and belonging. Instead, you live in a trance of “not enough,” which breeds a deep-seated sense of inadequacy, and feelings of shame and anxiety.
So, you “hustle for your worth” to try to earn a sense that you are good enough. You overextend, overachieve, overanalyze, over-help, perfect, people-please, or try too hard in some other way. This reinforces a narrative that your worth as a human being is conditional on what you do, rather than who you are, which further erodes your self-esteem and self-confidence. Self Esteem Therapy can help you cultivate a sense that you are already enough, just as you are.
Why Choose Self-Esteem Therapy?
Self esteem therapy can help you reclaim a sense of unconditional inner worth, just for being alive, just for being you. It can help you develop self-love, self-trust, and self-compassion, so that you can encourage yourself when going after what you most want and need, and nurture yourself when things inevitably don’t go your way. It can help you reclaim your inner strength and grow into a more confident, vibrant, and authentically connected version of the unique being that you already are.
Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem
The hallmark of self-worth issues is self-criticism:
You tend to beat yourself up; your mean self-talk breeds guilt and shame.
You overextend yourself; your standards are unrealistically high.
You try to please everyone around you to win affection, approval, and a false sense of belonging.
You doubt your abilities, and can be hesitant to take on new challenges for fear of failure.
You see yourself as a fraud, waiting to get found out as someone who isn’t actually skilled or doesn’t actually belong.
You relentlessly compare yourself to others and conclude that you are not enough.
. Any negative feedback from others can break your already fragile ego into pieces.
You may waver between underestimating and overestimating yourself; it’s hard to land in a balanced and stable self-image.
You spin into overthinking and self-doubt when trying to make decisions, big or small.
You get stuck in your head, and have a hard time integrating the wisdom of your feelings and desires.
Your admirable qualities of being nice, generous, ambitious, idealistic, moral, conscientious - have become too extreme, unbalanced.
Deep down, you just don’t feel good enough, lovable enough, or acceptable enough, just as you are.
How Therapy for Self-Esteem Can Help
Therapy for self-worth issues can help soften your harsh self-criticism and cultivate the parts of you that are more self-accepting, self-loving and self-trusting. It can help build confidence and feel safer with yourself and with safe enough others. It can allow for more choice and authenticity regarding how you show up in the world.
Self-esteem therapy can also help you heal the root psychological woundings that lead you to doubt your own inner strength and value to begin with. This can free you up to continue to develop your personal power, self-compassion, and a more authentic sense of belonging.
Areas of Focus
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Self-Criticism
Self-criticism involves negative self-talk: calling yourself names like “Selfish” or “Lazy;” discouraging or scaring yourself. Self criticism breeds feelings of inadequacy, low self-worth, and experiences of depression and anxiety. Therapy can help you cultivate self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-encouragement.
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Self-Doubt
Self-doubt is about difficulties trusting one’s self, one’s strengths and power. Self-doubt second-guesses, erodes self-confidence, and breeds anxiety and worry. It may cause you to give up quickly without really trying, or to divest in your dreams because you don’t believe in yourself. Therapy can help you soften the crushing self-doubt that holds you back, and foster self-trust and self-confidence, so that you can persist, grow, and expand.
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Overthinking
Overthinking makes it really difficult to make decisions, big or small, and it also makes life transitions more challenging. Over-analyzing is about trying to “cope with our heads” - over-relying on the mind and ignoring or disconnecting from one’s innermost feelings and desires. Healing involves tuning back into your feelings - in your body - so that they can help guide you toward what you most need and desire.
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Imposter Syndrome
No matter how much experience or training you have, a part of you won’t stop telling you that you are a fraud, that your successes are not reliable, and that you just don’t quite belong. It feels safer to stay small and silent and avoid taking risks so that no one can discover that you are secretly “a big failure.” Therapy can help to soften your imposter voice so that you feel freer to experiment, learn, and grow; to take up space and own your power.
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People Pleasing
You are too nice, overly generous and accommodating, and sacrifice yourself to help other people feel comfortable or happy. You avoid conflict and fear other people’s anger or disapproval. You may also try to rescue people or solve social problems in ways that are self-sacrificing and unbalanced. Therapy can help you work through unhelpful guilt and shame and access your own assertive anger. This can help you assert healthy boundaries, speak up about what you need, and include yourself in your sphere of compassion.
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Comparing Yourself to Others
You have an overactive tendency to compare yourself unfavourably to others. Too often, you conclude that you just don’t measure up. This erodes self-esteem and self-confidence, and generates feelings of inadequacy and shame. Therapy can help you set boundaries around this mental habit, and cultivate your ability to make space for your unique journey.
20 Minute No-Cost Consult
I invite you to schedule a no-cost video consultation to further explore whether my approach is a match for your therapy goals.