Couples Therapy

Romantic relationships struggle when there is a lack of intimacy and connection, and when conflict becomes ugly or is avoided entirely.

When communication breaks down, partners may shy away from conflict, having learned that fighting is futile, leading to wasted energy and mutual attack and no hope for a more productive process. So, one or both of you may avoid expressing your discontent and instead accept an empty peace, a disconnected coexistence. This can feel lonely, painful, and deeply unsatisfying. 

Of course, avoiding core issues in the relationship doesn’t actually make them go away. When left unresolved, they fester, breeding resentment that can erupt any time, eroding emotional safety and precluding deeper connection. True intimacy becomes even more impossible. Couples Therapy can help you reveal your authentic selves and receive the acceptance, care, or support you yearn for.

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Why Choose Couples Therapy?

Couples Therapy can offer a safer space in which you can brave the messiness of conflict for the chance of a more satisfying, alive, and secure connection. With a skilled therapist present, it becomes safer to explore the patterns of conflict in your relationship, discover and disclose what you are feeling at your core, and ask for what you most need from your partner. This makes it possible to better meet each other's needs, to become more sensitive and responsive to one another, to continually negotiate your differences, and to cultivate a relationship that is both dynamic and grounding.

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Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples

EFT is an evidence-based couples therapy that helps partners discover and express core emotions driving harmful relational dynamics. Partners explore how they protect themselves from hard feelings, contributing to these dynamics. Through sessions, they learn to express feelings and needs directly, assertively, and gently, breaking hurtful cycles and fostering safety, connection, mutual responsiveness, and respect.

Areas of Focus

  • Communication Breakdown

    Harsh criticism and complaint by one partner is followed by shut down and withdrawal in the other. One of you is left feeling unheard and uncared for, the other inadequate and overwhelmed. Couples therapy can help you clarify what is happening between the two of you, and learn how to do something different.

  • Conflict Avoidance

    You have the same argument over and over but don’t get deeper or move toward a resolution. So, you or your partner avoids bringing up issues to begin with. Couples therapy can help make conflict safer and more productive, helping you to finally get to the core of the issues,  and work things through, so that both of you have a chance of actually getting your needs met.

  • Emotional Intimacy

    There is emotional distance and disconnection in your relationship; you may at times feel like roommates. You have trouble trusting that your partner will really be there for you when you most need them. Or, you feel misunderstood, unappreciated, and even judged by your partner. Couples Therapy can help you get in touch with and express these feelings of vulnerability so that you can rebuild trust, connection, and understanding.

  • Sexual Intimacy

    It can be hard to sustain sexual passion over the long haul, once the “honeymoon phase” ends. Reclaiming satisfying sexual intimacy can involve creative strategies to bring up the heat, such as the use of novelty, fantasy, and intentionally playing with boundaries. At the same time, relationship insecurity can make sex with your partner feel unsafe or simply undesirable. Accordingly, healing in this arena can involve healing your bond more generally so that your relationship can serve as a safer base for sexual exploration. 

  • Fear of Abandonment and Rejection

    Underneath it all, you are terrified of losing your partner, being left alone. Or, you are terrified of being rejected, made to feel like you aren’t good enough, like you are letting your partner down. Couples therapy can help you find your voice with one another, bravely and vulnerably express these deeper fears of abandonment and rejection, and receive the healing you need.

  • Resentment and Anger

    You feel angry at a sense of imbalance or unfairness in the relationship, or at being disrespected, unheard, or hurt. Couples therapy creates a safer space for resentment to be voiced in assertive, less attacking ways, so that it can better be heard and addressed. In addition to creating a more secure bond, this can also help to cultivate a sense of mutual respect; an ability to honour the difference and diversity in the relationship.

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20 Minute No-Cost Consult

I invite you to schedule a no-cost video consultation to further explore whether my approach is a match for your therapy goals.